I am the master of procrastination. I’m always riddled with guilt over it, but guilt goes down much easier when I’m playing a browser game to distract from the crushing weight of disorganized priorities. With no publisher to appease, browser game creators go wild and make the tiny, creative games they want to make. Sometimes this leads to the most ridiculous games you’ll ever come across.
Over the years I’ve collected some links for the cream of the weird-browser-game crop, and whenever my brain can’t focus, I bust out my bookmarks folder and play them weirdos. Here are five of those games.
Some Korean Game About Poop and Anal Fingering
Have you ever been so bored that you wanted to fire a finger into a butthole that’s dropping creamy turds on you? Well, you can, in a game called … Game? I don’t know. The title is in Korean, except for the word “game.” I’m sure the full title is something like Bum Plugger: Revenge of the Shit Spewer Game!
The gameplay is intuitive and self-explanatory, other than the parts in Korean: There’s a plump ass squeezing out creamy mounds of poop, and you have to dodge the poop by moving the mouse from side to side while also trying to shoot what I assume is the ghostly spirit of your finger into the butthole between the poop drops. It’s like Space Invaders, if the aliens had dysentery.
If you hold down and release the left mouse button, the little track-suit-clad, anal-fingering, profusely sweating anti-shit warrior you control seems to draw power from the Earth, charging up an even more powerful attack, wherein he launches into the air as time slows so we can soak in the glory of the devastating anal fisting he delivers.
If you fail by being shat upon too many times, you didn’t really lose — at least not when you’re greeted by this “Try Again” screen:
Turns out our track-suit-wearing anti-poop warrior really likes poop. He’s having a ball!
Win the game and the track-suit-wearing anti-poop warrior pumps his arm in victory as the head of the pooper is revealed, but only from behind to conceal his identity. But c’mon: We all know he’s Kid from House Party.